This is such a hard thing to pull off, but if you can manage it, it looks STUNNING. I’ve never tried black lipstick but I think having lighter hair seems to be an easy way of making this look less gothic. Unfortunately for me my hair is as dark as the night :P I think the second solution is lighter clothing. Mixing black lipstick with a white or pastel outfit can give a very ethereal look.
Love this last look, its very casual and easy to recreate.